Rainy Day.

Today has been a downpour. 

I awoke to the sun refusing to shine and it has since then not changed its mind. My companions today have been Blustery & Wet. 

My companions today have also been Contentment & Happy. 

I have created my scared spot of writing. I have a little nook that is all my own. Right now I am creating my very first sprinkles of self reflection in that very spot. 

I am not known for doing things on a whim. This chaise lounge...this perfectly shaped, camel colored, just long enough for me chaise was purchased on a whim. Two glasses of wine and a burst of insecurity along with my mate's single sentence - "If you like it, just buy it" and $600 left my credit card and was invested into myself. It is not easy for me to spend money on myself. As much as I love things....comfortable things, pretty things, productive things...I have a hard time buying them. 
But on this particularly evening, with the taste of a cheap Merlot still on my tongue, I invested in me. 

The chaise was delivered yesterday, while I was at work. I rushed home afterwards, savoring the fact that I was going to walk into an empty house and have a few precious moments alone with my investment. I walked into my all white and blue bedroom and there was a gloriously huge box awaiting me. I grabbed a pair of scissors and began to cut right into my very own treasure box. I screwed the adorable little feet onto my new treasure, flipped it over and nestled it into the corner of my bedroom. I walked around it quite a few times before sitting down and putting my feet up. So, this is how it feels to create something for yourself....

...I have to say, it feels pretty damned good. 

I feel as if I have been in control of good things this week. I did not let the monotony of my job pull me down. I sacrificed nothing. I got workouts in, I got time with my mate in. My home is perfectly cozy and clean and there has been good (home-cooked) food in my belly. I have reached out to friends, and although some have not answered the call...I have made progress. I have allowed my mate to control certain areas of our relationship and I have not then chastised him for it. I have allowed things to flow, I have listened, I have supported and I have taken care of myself. 

The true testament of my progressing well-being will be next week when the children are back and the busy level gets multiplied by about 100. 

I have not bullied myself this week. I have tried to not over think and I have done my best to just...be.